Two weeks before, Chris & I went to the doctors office for an ultrasound. We were so excited to get to see the baby. We had decided that we didn't want to know the sex so we could be surprised in the delivery room. The ultrasound was going great then the technician stopped and said she needed to check something. She was gone for 20 minutes. Then she came back and said "you need to go into an exam room the doctor wants to examine you." At this point I was starting to get scared. Chris was doing his best to keep me calm. It turned out that I needed to go to the hospital. I was starting to panic and I couldn't get a hold of my Mom (when things go wrong who doesn't want there mom? )
I was in the hospital for the next two weeks changing medications, having anxiety attacks, being on strict bed rest and laying at an angle where my head was lower than my feet. Over those long two weeks, we had our ups and moments of hope then we had our downs and moments of despair. We had family who visited us and made us laugh when we needed it. We had family to hold our hands and cry when we needed to let it all out.
When the moment came that we knew I was going to deliver our baby, every person in our families who really mattered and lived in Oregon and Washington dropped everything to be there. Our little baby waited until every last person showed up and was in the waiting room. Our baby changed the way she was laying and after only a few minutes our little angel had arrived. Laura Kay was born at 1:39pm on June 30th, weighing 1lb 4.9oz. She let out a little cry. She was so small and I had never been so filled with love and pride in my life. She had her Dad's nose. The nurses and doctors went above and beyond the call of duty. They took pictures (with there own camera). We took some pictures too. Chris got to help clean Laura up and dress her. After a few minutes we let our families come in. We let everyone hold her and meet her. Nobody cried or acted sad. Everyone said how beautiful and precious she was. Our families stayed for a little while, then they let us be alone with Laura and be a family for the little time that we could. One hour and 49 minutes after Laura was born she passed away and Chris and I both learned what it meant to have your heart broken. She passed away while Chris was holding her and with the exception of when the doctors examined her she was held by Chris, I or our families the entire time. She was shown more love in her short life than some people could only hope for in theirs.
During those few minutes that we were lucky enough to have her, we understood what it meant to be a parent and how very special kids are. Whenever we start to get down about life, we think of Laura and we realize that we are so blessed and we are so loved by our families. We now try to make every moment with our kids last. We know how special the time we get to spend with them is. It has been five years and I wish I could say the pain of losing her has gone away, but I can't. There are days that it hurts like it was yesterday and there are days where I am okay with it. At this time of year, as her birthday approaches, I am always reminded of her and I wonder what she would be like. This year she would be 5 and getting ready for Kindergarten. For some reason that has made this year especially hard. Below are some pictures that we took of Laura, her hospital certificate and an ultrasound picture of her.
Laura, we love you and miss you everyday. Happy Birthday our precious angel!
A couple of weeks ago I also got lucky and found a Wii fit. I have played it a few times (then I got sick and it hasn't been touched since I am still recovering). Here are some pictures of our family using it. It is pretty fun. Kasey doing the balance test.
Cameron doing pilates.
And a picture of Kasey and Chris watching me do it (you didn't think I was going to put a picture of me playing it did you? You would have to be crazy to post a picture of yourself playing Wii fit) 
A new computer desk for his room so Kasey can't reach the keyboard.
Right before we cut the cake. Like I said he loves Lightning McQueen.
